New Recruit Welcome Party
by Gerald Tarrant
Summary: The Imperial Navy is all about helping out its new stormtrooper recruits the best way that it can.


_The Imperial Navy is all about helping out its new stormtrooper recruits the best way that it can._

This is a work of fan fiction and all characters and scenes herein are the property of LucasArts. Please do not reprint story without author's permission. 

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**New Recruit Welcome Party**

"Personally," said Regan Dalvith, "I think it's more like a bad dream."

His roommate, sitting on the bottom bunk bed a few paces across the small room, snorted. "You're stationed on the most powerful battlestation in the galaxy, Reg, and you're calling it a bad dream?" His Corellian drawl was bored, annoyed.

Regan slipped out of the tight stormtrooper body glove and pinched himself to work circulation back into his arms. "The Death Star is a nightmare, Verag."

Verag Bel Domon snorted again and stood. "Look, I'm not going to argue with you. You complained all through basic training and you're complaining again now. Wake up, Reg. We're here. We're Imperial stormtroopers, and we've gotta start acting like stormtroopers."

"We've only been here a week," Regan maintained, rummaging in the tiny dresser for something suitable for sleepwear. "That hardly makes us full troopers."

Verag sighed and crossed the small room to wash his face. More like a closet than a room, actually, barely twenty pace wide on either side. It was whole lot smaller than the Academy dorms and a whole lot less comfortable. he splashed some water on his face and retreated back to his bunk.

"Besides," said Regan, slipping on loose pants and a shirt. "Who says troopers aren't allowed to have a little fun?"

Verag laughed out loud at that, throwing his head back. Regan glowered at him.

"Laugh all you want, Verag. I'm serious."

Suddenly Verag stopped laughing, jerking his head around with a frown. "Did you hear something?"

"No." Regan closed the drawer.

"Shhh!"

"What?" Regan exploded. "I thought I was the paranoid one?"

Verag held up one hand. "I swear there was a noise outside the door a moment ago."

Regan shrugged. "Probably someone down the hall. People do live on this level, you know."

"I'm gonna take a look."

"You're imagining things."

Verag payed the other no heed, walking to the closed doorway and placing his hand on the door release. Regan watched him, unconvinced. His hand wavered over the controls.

"Well?" said Regan impatiently. "You going to satisfy your curiousity or not?"

Swallowing, Verag hit the door release with a quick, sharp motion. He looked out. No one.

"See?" Regan said, moving to his side. "What did I-"

He cut off then, a look of sick disgust growing on his face. "What the-"

Verag looked down, and then he saw it too. From beyond the corner and down the corridor, as far as he could see was a trail of what looked like green slime. Not even half a meter from the doorway and only a little more wide, the substance-whatever it was-looked in the dim light like sickly olive mucus. Verag felt his stomach roil.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Regan announced.

Verag looked down the hall to where the trail disappeared around the corner. An uneasy feeling came over him. "I think we'd better go check this out," he said.

Regan glanced at him in shock. "Hey, no way. I need my sleep, Verag. I'm not spending that time chasing unknown creatures all over the Death Star. Especially slime-secreting creatures."

Verag sighed. "This could be important, Reg. This isn't natural, whatever it is."

"You're right. It's not. And we have no business poking our-"

Verag glared at him. 

"All right, all right, hold on a second."

Regan retreated, grumbling, into the room and returned holding two blasters. "I don't know how I end up in these messes with you."

Verag took the blaster, ignoring him. They stepped out into the hallway, cautiously. As the door to their room hissed shut, they both jumped.

Regan sighed. "All right, Let's get this over with."

They crept down the corridor, following the gleaming, putrid trail. The trail continued down the slick metal floor, wiggling and occasionally thinning to a trickle before widening out again.

"I think we're going in circles, Verag."

"Shut up."

They walked on, following the seemingly unending trail. Verag's uncertainty grew. maybe they were wrong. Maybe he'd been too rash. Maybe it was normal on the Death Star to find yellow-green trails of slime outside your door.

Just as he opened his mouth to admit his mistake, Regan made a noise of disgust.

"Well, there's the end of the road."

Verag looked, saw that a few meters ahead, the slime abruptly ended, leaving only blank metal deck. He jogged the last few paces, stopped, puzzled. What in the name of Corellia's mad kings was going on?

Regan came up beside him. "OK, so now-"

There was a clanging sound, and a writhing black mass fell suddenly from the ceiling, jerking towards them.

Verag didn't stop to think. He raised his blaster and began firing, in panic, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHHHH!!!"

"Verag! VERAG!"

He fumbled to a halt, uncertain. "Wh-what?"

"Verag, it's a flight suit."

He spun to face Regan. "What are you talking about"?"

Regan gestured, a mixture of embarassment and sick humor on his face. "Look."

Verag turned to stare at the thing that hung from the ceiling and almost dropped his blaster. It was a flight suit, torn and ripped and drenched in some kind of black, oily liquid. He gripped his blaster, found his hands were trembling. Blast it!

"Regan-"

Hands pulling at him. "Verag, look. The trail goes over to that wall panel."

Verag looked around and saw the green-yellow slime trail continuing up the corridor in drips and spatters, curving over to a loosened panel in the wall.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

His roommate sighed. "Verag, come on. Just to see where it ends."

Still numbed and angry about being scared out of his wits by a second-hand flight suit, Verag hoisted his blaster and marched determinedly over tot he end of the trail, Regan beside him. They paused at the panel, both a little afraid to lift it.

"Oh, why not?" said Regan suddenly, handing his blaster to Verag. He bnet down, lifted the metal panel, began to laugh.

"What?" said Verag impatiently, holding both blasters.

"Verag, it's a-" Regan's voice cut off, then resumed in a loud shriek most unsuitable for an Imperial trooper. "Verag, come-AHHHHH!"

Open-mouthed, Verag watched the other trooper teeter on the edge of the floor for a second and then disappear from view. He ran to the panel, pushed it up. "Regan?" A terrible smell made his nose wrinkle. "Reg?"

A thrasing noise below. "For the love of seven hairy banthas, Verag, don't just sit there! Do something!"

Verag peeked down into the opening and began to laugh in disbelief. "Don't tell me you fell into the garbage chute, Reg."

Regan's voice held a trace of fear. "Verag, please. Get me out of here."

Verag threw up his hands, careful not to lose his balance, watching Regan below wade dripping through mountains of odorous sludge. "Do I look like I have anything that can help you?"

"Well-"

"Reg, I don't know how you managed to fall in there, but it's gonna be a whole lot more work to get you back out."

No answer. 

"All right, Reg. Look, hand me that big long pipe over there."

Regan waded over and clumsily grasped a length of pipe leaning against one wall, thrusting it up to the opening above. Verag lay down on his stomach, reaching his arms down for the pipe. It was barely long enough for him to grasp and pull up.

"I've got it. Now climb."

"Are you sure?"

Verag grunted. The pipe was heavy, but months of stormtrooper training had done their work on the muscles in his upper arm.

"Sure. Hurry up, Regan."

He felt the pipe grow heavier as Regan began his ascent. He tightened his hold, hoped his hands wouldn't slip. But the pipe seemed to weigh more with each passing second and he had almost lost the battle when Regan's head emerged out of the opening, hands grasping for a hold. Verag pulled his friend up, grimacing at the gunks of garbage and slime sliding from Regan down onto the polished deck.

"You look awful."

Regan glared at him, then looked down at himself and shook his head in disgust.

"I think we've been had."

Verag nodded just as footsteps echoed from around the corner. They looked, wide-eyed, at each other. 

"Quick! we have to hide!"

Verag looked around frantically. "There's nowhere to go!" He looked back towards the garbage chute.

"NO," said Regan.

The footstpes grew louder, then rounded the corner. Verag's heart sank as he saw the rank insignia on the man's chest. 

"We are going to be in so much trouble."

The man to whom the steps belonged drew nearer, then stopped in front of them, his face expressionless. His olive uniform was neatly pressed, insignia shining in the corridor light. He looked at them for a long moment.

"Explain!" he barked.

"Sir, we-" Verag began.

"Sir, it-" Regan said.

They broke off, looking at each other, unsure of what to say. The general began to smile, then suddenly burst out laughing. Verag looked at him uncertainly. The general contained his laughter, the smile still on his face.

"You look like you've been through a week's worth of bantha fodder," he said, looking at Regan.

Regan swallowed, said nothing.

"The general suddenly seemed to soften, looking at them. They must look a fright, Verag thought.

"Boys, by the looks of you, you just survived the new recruit welcome party," the general said, still smiling. "It's no small feat, and nothing to be ashamed of. I commend you on finding a way out of that garbage pit." He laughed again, suddenly. "Someone else might not be so kind, but I know how you feel. I'll give you two a break."

"Sir?"

The general brushed the question away. "It's late. Shouldn't you two be getting some rest?"

Verag snapped to attention. "Yes, sir!"

The general returned the salute, looking at them for another long moment, then shook his head in silent amusement and continued down the hall.

Verag stared after him for a second, then snapped back to reality. "Come on, Reg. We've got to get you into a shower."

They started back to their room in silence. Halfway, there was a whirr behind them. Verag looked at Regan, who shrugged.

"We seem to have picked up a cleaning droid."

Verag began to laugh, suddenly. "New recruit welcome party! Man, are we going to get it tomorrow."

Regan glared at him, but Verag smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, my friend. All you need is a good scrub."

Regan snorted, glancing down at himself ruefully. "New recruit hazing, huh?"

They reached their room without further mishap. Verag collapsed on the floor as Regan headed for the small shower stall without a further word. The water turned on inside, then there was a terrific yell.

"Oh, GROSS! What is this in my hair?"

There wasn't anything, Verag thought, that could faze an Imperial stormtrooper like this. Nothing.

He turned out the light and went to bed.


End file.
